we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
As shirtless as possible
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
