his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
