I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
