so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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