YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
