woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
