If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
