She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
