Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Congratulations! We have a period
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
