dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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