I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
