The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
