Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I need to align my fucking chakras
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
