YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
