Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
