I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
