you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
