Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
