I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We need to rekindle our bromance
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
