I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
