I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
