1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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