Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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