So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
