Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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