I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
