So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
