she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
