i think i have herpe
just one?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
