its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
