Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
