Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
