toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I am available for nakedness
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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