Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
