You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
