Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He? As in you personified your dick?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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