Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
