if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
