Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
