Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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