I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I love having hate sex.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
