This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
