Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
