I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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