So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
