i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
