I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
