i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
we're so committed to being not committed
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
