I don't remember. Are we still dating?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
