i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
