there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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