I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Alive.
So much puke
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
