did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
