Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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