i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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